“Well”, says Stevie, “I get my caddie to lean down in front of the hole and call to me with his head on the ground and I just play the ball towards his voice.”Tiger: “What’s your handicap?”Stevie: “Well, actually I’m a scratch golfer.”Woods: incredulous says to Stevie, “We’ve got to play a round sometime.”Stevie: “Well, people don’t take me seriously, so I only play for money. And I never play for less than $10,000 a hole. Is that a problem?”Woods thinks about it and says, “I can afford that. OK I’m game for that. $10,000 a hole is fine with me. When would you like to play?”Stevie: “You pick a night.”Cletus is passing by Billy Bob’s hay barn one day when, through a gap in the door, he sees Billy Bob doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old John Deere tractor.Buttocks clenched, he performs a slow pirouette, and gently slides off first the right strap of his overalls, followed by the left. He then hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move, lets his. I couldn’t hear but one word in ten, and I was damned if I was going to ask Allison to speak up, so I went out back to the patio and got the BBQ grill ready for some steaks and assorted vegetables.The steaks were a sizzling medium rare when I heard a very loud, “HE WHAT!”I knew what that meant. Allison had just found out about one of our more intense experiences while we were hiding from nothing.Allison came through the patio door almost before it slid all the way open. “YOU WENT OUT THERE AND KILLED PEOPLE IN FRONT OF MY DAUGHTERS? WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING, RUSSELL? THEY’RE OUR BABIES, DAMN YOU!” she raged.I handed Allison the platter of grilled ears of corn. “Don’t drop that, okay? Fresh corn is hard to get out here in the middle of the ocean,” I told her. She took the plate automatically, still glaring at me.“Why didn’t you wait for the navy or the marines or whoever to come bomb the boats, Russell?” she asked.I looked at her blankly. “OH! I thought you were talking about.
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