His mother reached for the phone. “You know what? I think I’m going to go visit Mary tonight. You okay with fixing dinner for yourself?”Jake was surprised but pleased. “Um, yeah! That’s great, Mom ... I’m glad you’re not letting today get you down.”She paused. “What’s today?”“ ... you know...”She blinked at him.“ ... the anniversary...”She still looked confused.“Dad ... your husband... ?”“Who?”Jake, flabbergasted, had let his mother go out with her friends anyway. She had completely forgotten her husband of almost 20 years! He also realized that his mother had done exactly what he said she should do: forget his father and go out with friends.No... No way... All the people that continued to be so agreeable around him, doing what he said... He had to test this, but now he was alone! He stepped out of his house, looking around. The neighbor kids were in the playground of the cul-de-sac he lived on, so he headed over there.The little kids there eyed him warily, as normally Jake just. " And what caused that?" Liz, let me make this clear. I don't want to be like that anymore. I feel myself losing the people that I want close. And they'll go and I'll either feel it and be crushed, or be so numb that I don't feel anything. That's not true. I do feel now. But all I feel is lonesome." All right Ray. What prompted this change and what caused the original behaviour formation?" The change? It was Chuck."The meeting with the pschyiatrist went better than he thought. Liz was very easy to talk to. It was easy to share these things with someone that wouldn't judge him. He was able to tell her and not feel the shame of self recrimination.He logged into his email account once he was back at work.She responded. It excited him like nothing had in a long time.Who are you?That was all she said. But it was a start.He put, "Dana, why is it so hard to feel alive?"And then he typed the rest of the message.How many loved your moments of glad grace, And loved your beauty with love false.
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