The most disconcerting thing was that for the first time in my life, I felt sexual tension around another woman, and I wasn’t sure what to make of it. Looking, admiring, or comparing myself to another woman from afar was somehow okay. However, talking like this to her and… feeling … like this, especially around her, was different and wrong. Or was it? I wasn’t quite sure yet.I put those disturbing thoughts out of my mind and quickly decided to change the subject. “I’m slowing down Alyssa, you ready for bed?”“Yeah, I’m getting tired too.”Silently, we undressed and got into our jammies which consisted of sleeper shorts and big, comfortable T-shirts. Could she feel this too? There was electricity in the air… sexual electricity. I could feel her sneaking peeks at me and I very nonchalantly snuck glances at her too while we were changing. I quickly shut off the light and we got into bed.We bid each other goodnight, but it took hours for me to fall asleep. When sleep finally did come, it. I knew that she saw me. I knew she wanted to sit by me.”Chuck?” her soft voice drifted across the room.”Yeah?””Can I talk to you?””You can come in, but you have to be quiet.”She slipped onto the sofa by my feet. She stuck out a tentative hand and started rubbing my legs. “I’m sorry Chuck,” she whispered.”Kat, I don’t want to talk about it. You hurt me really badly. Why did you say those mean things?””I wasn’t thinking. I just reacted to the moment.””Calling me an incestuous pervert for no reason really hurt. All I wanted to do was kiss you and comfort you, but you acted like I was trying to rape you. I don’t think I want to be around you right now.””Please Chuck, I just wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry I said those things. I didn’t mean to, they just popped out of my mouth. My boyfriend dumped me tonight and I was upset.””That’s no excuse! You know that I would never do anything to hurt you. I love you Katrina.””What can I do to make it right? I’ll do anything you say, just please don’t.
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