I ran right out into the gulf waters and splashed face first into the water. I flipped over on my back and just glided along until I thought I might be getting out too far, and flipped back over to swim back to the beach. I was walking up on the beach, when a guy and girl said, "You should watch how far you go out because of the tide. When you come out, ask, we'll tell you all about how bad the rip tides can get. Oh, and watch the signs for jelly fish, rays, and sharks."Nothing like a busybody to take the fun out of playing in the surf. Without worrying too much, I walked along the beach, kicking up water and getting knee deep when the surf washed in. I was almost back to the hotel when, "Help, help, my boyfriend is drowning, help!"I could see a girl about a hundred yards out, trying to hold a guy up by his hair. I ran into the water, dove in, and swam hard toward the couple. I grabbed the guy and asked the girl, "Can you swim back?" The girl looked scared, so I told her, "Hold on to. Whilst then, my school, Mum and Trudy did all that they could to protectme from transphobia and bullying, they could not protect me from my owninternal hormonal conflict. You see I was born a boy and part of me stillwanted, despite my appearance and environment, to be one of the boys andto be popular amongst the boys. Part of me believed in a concept called"normal" and that somehow I was not "normal" because it was not "normal"for a boy to be dressed as a girl. Although the other part of me sawnothing wrong with the girl I had become.So at the age of 17 I stated to plan how I would secretly buy some boy'sclothes or just take off some of my makeup, be less feminine. The idea oftaking off my makeup or dressing as a boy excited me. In the same way asit had been both exhilarating, exciting and humiliating for me to go outdressed as a girl for the first time, so it also felt exciting to go outone day without my nail extensions and only wearing nail polish and onanother day without.
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