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. the way I felt about her. But I couldn't help it. Why couldn't she have been like everyone else... afraid of me, disdainful of me? Why did she have to keep thinking there was something special in me? Why did she have to make me feel like I was worth something? It only made it harder when I realised I wasn't – when I did stupid shit like this. I kicked at an empty can on the sidewalk, sending it skittering over the pavement.I shoved my hands deep in the pockets of my hoodie, my body aching. Why couldn't I just be normal? Why couldn't I stop doing these things? These things that hurt Carly, and hurt me. Why did I have to push everyone away?I stop, realising I'm outside my building. I head up wearily, trudging up the flights of stairs. I pause when I reach my door. I always have to psyche myself up before I go in, because every time I enter, something bad happens. And I'm so tired of all this bullshit. I just wanna go to sleep and forget.I open the door, slipping inside. Mom's passed. Without preamble, John declared, “Ed and I have decided to embark on a new venture that will most likely push the boundaries of legality. We don’t know exactly what it will look like, but we want you three to be in on the ground floor if you are willing to take the risk. We also need to swear ourselves to secrecy. If you don’t want to risk possibly ending up in jail, you should leave now. We trust your discretion not to reveal this meeting if you opt out”The three looked at each other. Bill Winters was the first to speak. “I’m in. Hell, I am so bored with accounting that I would like to work full time on this project, if you’ll have me.”Ed smiled. Bill was the youngest of this most trusted trio. He was 38 years old and about 5’8’’ with light brown hair. His body was built like a bull from many hours in the gym. His nose was flattened from being broken multiple times in college boxing. No one would guess that he was an accountant until they saw the degrees on his office wall. Most.
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