By now I was convinced that Iwas a girl. I loved pretty things and I loved playing what a girl does.I knew my mother didn't like me. I was a baby that she had to changeand to send to school. She loved my sisters. That's why they wereallowed to sleep upstairs. I was not really part of the family. That'swhy I slept down in the basement among my friends,,,, the dolls.Sometimes Dad would come down and say a few words to me in thebasement, like how was school and so forth. Then he would hear Mumsvoice and make me promise that I would not make her mad. He would hurryup as if he never visited me or I was not his son. I think he wasembarrassed that I thought that I was a girl.The teachers knew I was strange. I suspect they knew that Mum hated me.Any time they would ask me about home, I would answer with some answersthat Mum had taught me. If they asked more they would have noticedthings, but they didn't. After a while, they just accepted that I wasstrange and that I really thought that I was. They'd been going out for six months but I knew he had a wandering eye. I had seen him watching me earlier when we'd been outside on the patio. I'd been chatting it up with Sonia a friend from high school and he'd been cooking some hamburger patties. But he'd been watching ... a smile on his mouth.I like Alison really I do but when I got dressed for her party, it hadn't been for her. I had slipped on my favorite dress that hugged my curves and worn my lacy thong for Duke. I knew he liked the color red because Alison had told me that.I watched them now talking by the swimming pool while I looked out the attic window and then I sighed sitting on a bed that had been stored up there. My dress rode up my legs as I lay there looking at the ceiling, the beams of wood leading across the top. Boxes lined the walls filled with all kind of things, Alison and I had played among them when we'd been younger, stealing away up the steps to sort through them. Old dresses from bygone eras ... costume.
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