Years ago I painted a portrait of my left hand. It is blue, wet blue over silk, not a painted fabric, but soft, early fields. When I painted it, in dream or not, I believed I had discovered the world. I sped in the cold sea and I lived within delicate arms with hazy brown skin. I thought of blue orchids and I tasted like melons when I licked my fingers. I bulged. I felt my involuntary orgasm forced by electric vibrator. I was bound, blindfolded, mute, deaf, and the collapsed inside, as fingers, mouths, tongues, toes, scraped at my open bound door, and then I lifted up my ass, naked beneath her gown, carefully, button by button, some hand opening my crease from the bottom, allowing dark eyes to peer outward, as his fist allowed just one brief exploration casually entered and then quietly stopped while I was forced to squat, lowering my ass, allowing his entire hand to break through the resistant wall and then drown. I resisted, and pushed back, refusing, and then at the wall between. " I suppose, but man I can't imagine losing my hands." Tracy shudderedvisibly."Better than dying." Mark shrugged."No way," his aunt retorted. "You would be a burden to everyone aroundyou, you couldn't even feed yourself." They have prosthetics that would help," Mark said."Nothing back when that show was set. Trust me you would go crazy veryquickly without your hands. I give you a week before you are beggingfor death." No way to know, I am not volunteering to get my hands cut off," Marklaughed.Aunt Tracy chuckled. "Yeah me neither. Ok, it's time for bed."Mark nodded and stood up with a long stretch. His sweatshirt and jeanshung loosely on his thin frame, in fact his jeans would easily slideright off if not for his bony hips holding them in place. His mop ofdirty blond hair was long enough in the back to hold in a pony tail ifhe ever bothered. He liked to think his hair was a fashion statementbut in truth he was just too lazy to get a haircut. He wandered towardthe guest room.
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