” I walk over to where Vanessa is standing and say “Yes, everyone always told me I looked like her. Do you look like your Mother?” She smiles an says “Not as much as I do my Father, I have his chin.” We continue our walk through the house and I show her pictures of my cousins and uncles and b*****rs. We walk to a dark corner of the room and she sees a picture, off to itself on a table. “Who is this girl in the picture, with you?” I look at the picture and take it off the table. “That is Cassandra, she is not with my me any longer. I need to take this picture and throw it away.” Vanessa looks at me with very kind eyes and says “Did she die.” I shake my head no and say “Much worse, she left because she wanted to leave. Death would have been easier to accept.” Vanessa looks at the picture again and says “She is beautiful, you both look so happy in the picture, what happened?” With a frown and disgusted sigh I say “I was not what she wanted. I had become a farmer, not a professional. Ok, it wasn’t that bad, but not far from it. While we are talking about hair, should I grow out my own, or just find a wig? Then there were my eyebrows, I needed to get those under control. I started making a shopping list; the first thing I put on the list were razors, then tweezers. Makeup; I have never really used it, and Pam thought I looked like a “cheap streetwalker.” I had to figure out what I needed, and how to use it. I spent a few hours on YouTube, watching how-to videos. I remembered thinking, you must need a Ph.D. to keep all this straight.Foundation, concealers, powder, bronzer, contouring powder, and that is just to get started. A bunch of the videos had links where you could buy products online, which I liked, but they wouldn’t get here for a few days at least.I went online to one of the national chains that was about half an hour away, and put in an order for the razors, tweezers and some basic makeup to get me through tonight. I could pick it up in a couple of.
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