I can't even believe in myself anymore. I've lost the desire to create and bring laughter to others. I can't bring myself to want anything, to hope or even love.I don't deserve love anyway, not even love for myself. I did a horrible thing to someone else and deserve to suffer for it. Coincidentally, I've found a perfect way to do that. Sexual humiliation has become something I am rather good at taking and being used has taken over any of my previous sexual preferences.Finding the men is easy enough, especially when I tell them that I don't care who they are - something that seems mutual to most men nowadays. I don't think I've even asked their names the past few times. Thankfully, they don't mind that.Sometimes there are handsome ones who come along who seem nice enough but I prefer to blindfold them beforehand. Truth be told, I do it because I can't stand the thought of another man that I'm attracted to seeing how ugly I am underneath my clothes. Gratefully, they don't mind that. I could not believe how much I enjoyed the feel of a man's cock in my mouth. It was the perfect act. I wasn't just pleasing him or doing it for him. He was just the lucky recipient of something that was so satisfying to me. His smooth cock felt so perfect in my mouth that I knew immediately that this would not be the last time I sucked a cock.I was lost in sucking and caressing him with my lips and tongue, my entire mouth was the center of my sexual being and I loved it.I heard him say something and stopped to ask him if everything was alright. Everything was more than alright by him, but he wanted to please me too. As I covered his cock again he said put your leg over me and let me taste you too.As I settled in to cover him with my body I could feel him guide my hard cock to his mouth and as wonderful as it felt to be inside of him almost all of me was focused on his cock.There was so much I wanted to do, to experience but it was all forgotten. All I wanted was his cock in my mouth..
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