What?”“I’m not sure how to explain it, so don’t jump in until I’ve finished, okay?”He nodded and sipped his second beer.“I’ve been feeling afraid. It...”Concern blossomed on his face. “About what? Why? When did it...”“Shush! Let me finish.”He frowned.She took a deep, bracing breath. “Ever since we’ve been ... intimate, I’ve started worrying and I can’t stop it. I worry that I’m too happy and something’s going to happen to you and I’m going to lose you, or I’ll do something stupid and ruin what we have. It’s gotten worse in the last couple of weeks.”“What do you think’s going to happen?” he asked.Rory shrugged. “That’s just it. I don’t know. There’s nothing specific. I’m just scared it’ll happen and I won’t be able to stop it. And then I lose you.” She paused, then added, “I know it’s childish but...”“There’s nothing childish about it, Rory,” Ethan said rather firmly.“Then, what is it?”“I’m no psychiatrist, but I suspect it’s natural. When you have something that makes you very happy,. I capitalize pronouns referring to Him because it pleases me, not because He expects it. We aren’t into toys, costumes, or acrobatic sexual stunts. All the important stuff happens inside us, and that’s what we concentrate on. We have enough ritual to keep our understanding always in plain view. Every morning, I kneel and ask Him to be my Master for another day. He reaffirms His love and His responsibility for me. Sometimes, He rests His hands gently on my head and we meditate for a few minutes about what we have. Those are the sweetest moments! Every evening, He sits in his favorite chair and I kneel-sit in front of Him, put my hands on His knees, and bow my head. He lifts up my chin and asks me what I’m thinking. Then I go through my day, telling Him what I feel I have done well and where I have failed, what I enjoyed and what worried me. He expects me to confess any disobedience and to be honest about any negative feelings about Him, myself, or our relationship. (He is also candid.
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