“Go home,” he looked upward at the near six foot tall brunette.“Don’t feel like it,” She kept kicking.“Please. I’m afraid you won’t have any legs to kick with at my next class,” he joked. “Is everything ok? You’ve been staying late for a few months now.”“Fine. Just need to relieve stress,” Cindy told a half truth.Her instructor shrugged and greeted a few students for the next class. A few moments later, Cindy stopped her kicks, caught her breath, grabbed her bag, and left.On the way home, after a long day on her patrol route, then her kickboxing class, Cindy thought about how good a shower would feel. Afterward, she’d begin her near nightly masturbation ritual. She would choose from her vast collection of anal beads, dildos, and vibrators – all of varying sizes from small to massive.Arriving home, she peeped in on her 18-year-old son. Collin waved and nodded to his mother. Cindy smiled and headed to her shower.She felt Collin was integral to an issue she was having. In the. ): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.And the winners are:1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.6. Negligent, adj. Absent mindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.11. Testicle, n. A humorous question.
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