"Damn!" he yelled. "I was afraid of that! That place is bad news, kids.You wouldn't know about this, but I do. People have been sent there tobe cured of one thing or another, but they come out....strange, if theycome out at all." What do you mean, strange?" I asked."Strange like...different. I mean...oh hell, I'm not sure I know what Imean. They just aren't the same folks they were before they went nutsand got sent there is all. Look, I'm a cop, not a shrink! All I know isthat I wouldn't send my worst enemy into that place for treatment. Hell,they've been investigated at least a dozen times over the years, andnobody could find anything wrong, but I know somethings fishy as hell inthere, okay? We're gonna have to be careful as hell is all I'm saying." Screw careful!" I growled. "I'm tired of being careful! None of thisshit is my fault or Jerry's, and I want it over with! If I gotta bustinto that place and tear it apart brick by brick, that's exactly what I'mgonna do! Are. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Phil's scrotum and wrap wire around it to hold it in place."Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Phil."Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Phil is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time his scrotum should recover completely." All the men sighed with unified relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, "I'm Phil."The entire congregation held its breath. "I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum."Dear Family & Friends,I am sorry that I have not been consistently responsive lately to your emails. I have been somewhat under the weather since my doctors informed me that I have an acute case of Post Islamic Stress Trauma with Apologetic.
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