I wasn't even getting horny anymore. I hadn't even bothered to masturbate since before I went home for Winter Break. I didn't feel despondent or suicidal, nothing like that. I wasn't happy, and I didn't really care that much about my lack of happiness. I didn't care, period.I sent Lisa an email, letting her know that I'd decided that Vermont wasn't for me. I told her that I'd probably be coming home, just as soon as school let out at the end of May. I didn't mention my plan to enroll at State, and didn't write about anything personal changing between us. She emailed me the following morning:"YOU BETTER FUCKING CALL ME! AS SOON AS YOU GET HOME."I smiled as I read her message. For the first time in months, I started having some real hope that things would improve for me.In spite of any personal problems I was having, my grades had been kept up. My parents had spent a pretty penny sending me to Middlebury. I didn't want my getting poor grades to add to the disappointment they already had. "Hand me the shower gel will you dear," she said. I'd never heard her ask for that before, as she would normally only rinse me off, but I picked up the bottle and moved my hand backwards, passing it to her without turning around.Momentarily, I heard her let the shower head fall down into the bath with the spray still coming out, and then she said, "I do like you to be especially clean all over, so I'm just going to rub some of this shower gel along your butt crack towards your balls. Bend forward for me a little."I couldn't believe my ears! I turned my head to one side as if to turn around and mom said, "Don't worry, I'll be gentle. It's not as if I haven't done this before young man. Who cleaned your butt crack when you were much younger?"Jesus, I couldn't quite believe what mom had just said, but I complied with her instructions. I felt her run a finger along my ass-crack, making me flinch a little as she ran over my asshole and then touch my balls, rubbing some shower gel along.
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