But we do have one piece of business to clean up before we getrolling.)(What's that?)(Well, I should talk about why I spent time last time talking about Aresand E-Girl instead of focusing on my wonderful self like my legions offans would have demanded)(If you say so. But I am kinda curious myself. Seemed a bit out ofcharacter for you)(I can't help it if I know how wonderful I am. But anyway, the reason whyI mentioned her commercial is that some nasty rumors have surfaced that Iam jealous of E-Girl. Personally, I blame Fox News for it. But the factthat I was willing to praise her should put those rumors to rest)(Fine. Now can we get started?)(Let's do.)Now, where did we leave off last time?Oh, yes. We left our intrepid heroine (me) waking up on my second day ofgirlhood, meeting my neighbour Sarah, finding out I was already a Youtubesensation, and descending on a local mall for some serious shopping.Now, if you were going to go shopping as a girl for the first time, Ihighly recommend. It was from my mother.“You and Andrew will visit as soon as you are able.”I tried texting back, about how impossible that was for any time soon. She never replied.Claire arrived late that day.“Sorry, Ingrid. I had a date.”“You don’t look dated-”“I look late.” She completed the saying. “Ha, fucking ha.” She signed in late and went straight to work. I caught her up on the day’s tasks and left early.Andrew wasn’t home when I arrived from the library. His mechanic sideline was picking up. If he ever went online and studied to pass a few auto manufacturer’s, technician qualification certificates, he could charge twice as much.He arrived while I was sixteen browser tabs deep in planing a trip to Mother’s. I told him.“We can’t go, Mom. She’ll tear our story apart.”“If we don’t go, she’ll never talk to us again.”“What will Dad say about it? Oh. Yeah, you have him wrapped around your little finger.”“I might not, if you weren’t taking that lump out of my butt regularly.”“It’s pretty much.
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