.It kinda is fair," Kayla says quietly, making me frown."You too?" I say to the tiny girl."Hey, don't pick on me all of a sudden!" Kayla retorts. "Steph... Youalways do this. You always worry yourself so much that you're literallyincapable of making a decision... So let us help you!" When we say we're your friends," Adeola says, "that doesn't just meanwe like hanging out with you or going to parties... It means we'rethere for you when you need us, you know?" Whenever you need us," Becca affirms."Thanks," I whisper, wiping a tear from the corner of my eye. "Ireally, really do appreciate it... But I HAVE to make this decision bymyself." Hey, we're not going to force feed you the pills," Becca laughs. "Butyour decision will kinda affect us too, you know?" Yeah, I know," I sigh. "And I know what you'd rather I chose...Thanks, I really do appreciate what you're trying to do. But this isn'ta decision I can rush." You've had three days already," Becca snorts. "What's stopping youfrom, you. Several of the people disappeared from time to time andreturned looking smug and satisfied. Jen disappeared with one guy beforegrabbing me and dragging me off to a room that had others lying amongstthe coats, in the dark. By now my memory is very hazy.We somehow woke up in our bed, late morning. I still had my basque on,but no knickers. Jen was completely naked. My hangover was epic. Iremembered kissing and groping, wantonly, randomly and with little carefor gender.How did I feel about it? Something had clicked in my head. I had feltfemale last night, really female, for the first time ever. I had a longchat with Jen, when we got back to the flat. I wanted to talk about how Ihad felt and I wanted to know what she had been doing.Jen's opinion was that, given what had happened to me and given that thechanges were irreversible, I had no option but to accept being a woman.Even with corrective surgery and a double mastectomy, I would still looklike a woman and not be able to function as a.
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