"OK, time to save these files somewhere where you won't find and delete them like you usually do" I said, as I created a secret folder with an unobvious file name unlikely to be discovered later and deleted by a concerned husband trying to hide the evidence of his shortcomings. "The girls will get a good giggle out of these!" I joked as I put the phone back down."How long do you think the average penis is?" I asked him, without waiting for a reply. "Don't worry, I've already googled it to find out – I knew I wouldn't be able to trust your answer. And just how long is your little dick then? Don't even think about exaggerating it - I already have a rough idea, I just want to hear you admit it to me."He mumbled something inaudible. "Come on – answer me!" I ordered. "How long is that little dick of yours?" Five and a half", he mumbled. "Five and a half?" I asked. "Well, that surprises me. That would make you just a fraction under average in length, and I think you and I both know that's. His analysis was that the Long Cut ale was very good for something not brewed according to Das Reinheitsgebot, the German ‘beer purity law’ that was enforced throughout Germany. The local brew, on the other hand, was horse piss that could only be sold in America. He had no idea what we were doing wrong.On to more important things. Sir Gottfried was not a sailor, and his two previous missions were deep in the mainland where the only water was a river or stream. After a few minutes Jono and David showed up.“Sir Gottfried, this is Captain Jono and Captain David. They command two of my warships. Captains, this is Sir Gottfried. He is looking for something that may be on a pirate ship that left Pollock’s Bay three days ago. Which of your two crews is complaining the loudest?”They looked at each other. Jono said “That would me mine, Lord Jason. My crew is all poor. They are eager for more pay so they can spend it all on ale and women and be poor again in three days.”“Very well. Jono, do.
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