Paul Bunyan got a very public and official atta-boy from me for doing exactly what she was built for even if we had completely forgotten about her. She also got another very public and entertaining dressing-down about learning how to share from one of the task force captains, for spoiling what was "promising to be lovely good fight". Through the years, the second speech ended up with a much higher replay rate on the Womb's entertainment system than mine. She also got told to go back to hiding at L2 until we needed her again.The ugliest part of being a commander is taking responsibility for your losses. As both Beerat System Commander and the Admiral in Command of the Beerat Defense Force (not quite the same titles, as the System Commander would also be in charge of offensive forces, when we had some) I could take all the credit for our latest victory. But, if I did that, I also had to take personal blame for the deaths of roughly 500 men and women who had gone into battle trusting me. "I love you too sweetheart…but…" Before she could finish I bent and kissed her fully. She accepted my kiss and my tongue but when the kiss was over she said, "Honey this is too fast…we have to talk about this…but I have to go to work and…we'll talk tonight, okay baby?" Sure mom" was all I could manage as she went to dress for work. A half-hour later she left with a quick goodbye and not even the usual peck on the cheek. I guessed I had blown it and started recriminations on myself for pushing her. What could I have been thinking anyway, that my mother was just going to strip and let her son have sex with her?Late in the afternoon I had a break before my last class and I knew my mother would be home. I couldn't wait and just wanted to hear her voice and maybe read what she was thinking. I called and when she answered I said, "Hi mom…I missed you."There was a hesitation on the other end and she said, "Hi baby…are you okay?" Sure mom." My agitation propelled me forward. "Mom, could I ask.
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