• I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.• I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.• Velcro - what a rip off!• Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.HOW MOSES GOT THE 10 COMMANDMENTSGod went to the Arabs and said, ‘I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better.’The Arabs asked, ‘What are Commandments?’The Lord said, ‘They are rules for living.’‘Can you give us an example?’‘Thou shall not kill.’‘Not kill? We’re not interested... ‘So He went to the Blacks,The Blacks wanted an example, and the Lord said, ‘Honour thy Father and Mother.’‘Father? We don’t know who our fathers are. We’re not interested.’He went to the Mexicans, The Mexicans wanted an example - the Lord said ‘Thou shall not steal.’ ‘Not steal? We’re not interested.’He went to the French, They wanted an example and the Lord said, ‘Thou shall not commit adultery.’‘Sacre bleu!!! Not commit adultery? We’re not interested.’Finally, He went to the Jews and said, ‘I have Commandments.... He gave me the whole sales pitch, then said: "So, if I could takedown some of your particulars.." My inside leg measurement is 291/2 inches," I said dreamily, and he looked across atme sharply."Mine's 34,"he said with a grin. He was flirting back! I couldn't believe it! I must be15 years older than him ATLEAS'P.He tried to get the conversation back on track, but I diverted him by asking what hedid for a living, and it turned out that he was an out of work actor. That explained thelooks and presentation, anyway. I had opened a bottle of wine while Patrick wasupstairs, hoping to have a sneaky slurp, so I offered some to Leon. To my surprise, heaccepted.'T)o you do any other special deals, Leon?" I asked, knowingly. I felt like a dirty oldlady trying to get a response out of this youthful god, but you only live once!"Maybe... what sort of a deal would I get from you, though, Miss Revington?" Shall I show you?" I replied, and got up to move towards him. He looked a bitstartled at that.
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