I need her in my life and if is only part time that is fine. I knowpeople who have their own personal version of Anna and they never evenget to see their dream woman at all, not even a picture. They only haveconversations with them. It is true that they never have to worry aboutthe lady who they want to be around all the time disappearing. I couldnot do so, I need Anna around as much as possible. I need her smilingface in the same room as mine.Sometimes it is the kindness between us which makes Anna change her mindabout me and her becoming one. She thinks I will be giving up too muchto be with her. She thinks that she does not deserve to be happy, butthat kindness makes her see past the doubt and just enjoy us being one.Anna sometimes shakes from joy from just strangers giving her a friendlysmile. I know it leave her shuddering for days after. It is from herbelieving that she will never get such a good reception from strangersever again. That it was the outliner experience from her. I go quickly to the fence where I may speak with him, and Kitik is with me. But when I see him I know it is bad with him, I see the same that I see in Hiram.He knows what I see and he speaks it. “Yes, daughter,” he says, “it is my time to go to the land. I cannot go alone any more, and I will not be as others to take food from the boats and make foolish of myself.”“How if we come and be with you, Acou?” Kitik asks him. “We may make our own pod and live together and hunt together.”What Kitik says is caring, and I move to rub against him to show my feeling. Yes, he would be good leader, this is as Altauk shows caring for me after Kitik is taken.But Acou says no. “Kitik, I cannot live with others,” he says. “In one time I hope that I may leave this shadow of mine and come full into the now. But for me it is too late. My body pains me more where I am hurt when I leap from where the humans keep me, and from other things too, and even when shadow is light in me the pain reminds me and.
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