”He drew in a breath and made ready to speak.“Don’t you dare!” I cut him off. “Don’t you dare say something perfect, witty, and charming and sweep me off my feet again and give me more mind-blowing orgasms or something. It just won’t work because-““Because why?” he lamented, finally getting a word in.I cried out in anguish. “Because I love you! Because every guy I’ve felt even a little for started out like this! It’s all fun and games and they’re so into me and how wild I am and then they want to lock me up; hide me away from everyone and everything else because they're afraid of losing me. It always destroys it!”“I’d never try-““To do that to me,” I finished. “I know. It’s not you! Don’t you see?”He just stared at me. I’d never seen him at a loss for words before.“It’s me! I’m fucking terrified of losing this,” I gestured around me. “Of you! The thought of losing you, of you not being fixated on me, scares me to death. I’m terrified of somebody else catching your eye, of you finding. The mixer had to have weighed sixty pounds. I doubt that Maria weighed too much more than that.I knew Maria was ten years old, because she had been at my younger sister's birthday party the week before, and I'd overheard her telling some of the girls that her tenth birthday had been the week before my sister's."Maria, where are you going with that mixer?" I was right behind her when I spoke, scaring her enough that she dropped the mixer to the ground. When she turned to face me, half a second later, her face was already red, and it looked like she was ready to start crying."Please don't tell on me, Ricky! I wasn't going to steal it, I promise. I was going to bring it back, right after I showed it to my mother." Why would your mother want to look at an old mixer like this one?" I was really curious to know why."She makes tamales at home, to sell to construction workers. I thought she could save a lot of time if she had a big mixer like this one, instead of the little one we have at.
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