The problem was that all the boys were after her and although I dreamed every day of speaking to her or having some contact with her the opportunity never arose. After an hour of English class, the majority of which I spent looking out the window, the teacher asked to collect in all the homework. A surge of fear suddenly ran through me, I knew last night that there was something I should have been doing but the homework completely slipped my mind. ‘Shit’ I thought to myself. Everyone else one-by-one handed in their homework as the teacher, Mrs. Barnes, sauntered around the room. She pulled up alongside me…“I haven’t done it” I said.“and why not?” she replied.“I’m sorry”“sorry, you will be,” she said, “because you’ll have to stay here for an hour after school to do it”“No, but…”“No buts” she said, “it’s your punishment.”She continued round the class, I was in a state of rage that I’d have to stay afterwards, I had things to do! But as it happened it was not going to be all bad. Mrs.. She would always be a mystery, and the hallmarks of a history Sìneadh could never know began to taunt her. She was jealous of unshared years. That hollow in Eva’s arm near her shoulder where she’d had her immunisation jags – had she cried? The tiny crescent birthmark above her bottom, barely visible against her golden skin – who else had kissed this?It was a fear of falling with no sense of depth that made Sìneadh throw out her arms to arrest her fall. On the nights when this feeling bit hardest, she pulled on a dressing-gown, crept to the kitchen and perched on a stool to watch the kettle boil. But there was always too much thinking to be done, so she’d take a cloth and wipe every surface clean.Eva came in on one of those mornings, bleary and beautiful. She was opening the fridge when Sìneadh came out with it: ‘You want me to say I love you, don’t you?’Eva closed the fridge door, smiling. ‘Yes.’‘First tell me how many others you’ve loved.’‘How many have I loved?’ Eva turned,.
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