So it was five days late when Spook gave me the news.Jack, the female on whom you have asked me to maintain surveillance, the mother of Lisa, the records I have been watching now say that she died on— he gave the date.Shit. Now I'd have to tell her. I hated having to do it, and I especially hated having to be the bearer of these particular bad tidings. She'd beat herself up for not having been there, even with her mom as out of it as she'd been, and I was the reason she hadn't been able to be there.She took it about as hard as I'd expected. I told her as gently as I could, making sure I said "passed away" instead of the harsher "died"—I never have understood why it matters, they mean the same thing, but it does to most people—and her face seemed to freeze except for the tears that started trickling down her cheeks. I tried to take her in my arms for comfort, but she pushed me away."Not now, Jackie," she said in a tremulous voice. "Just leave me be for a little while, OK? I need to be. We have friends who have a condo on South Beach and theyagreed to let us use it for the weekend. We drove down/across early Wednesday and spent some time in the BalHarbour Shops – though there wasn’t much I needed tobuy – since there wasn’t much I was planning to wear.We went out for an early dinner and then back to thecondo for me to prepare. The butterflies were going nutsin my stomach. I stripped and showered. As I stepped outof the shower, I saw myself naked in the full-lengthmirror and realized in just a short while a hundredpeople that I did not know would see me the same way.I dried my hair, put on my makeup, and several pieces ofjewelry. Elliott watched and sensed my apprehension.“You don’t have to go through with it if you don’t wantto,” he offered.“I want to – I just don’t want to start and chickenout.”“Well,” he replied, “here’s the deal – as long as we’rehere you can.
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