I chastised myself. I was glad to be back. I was glad to have helped Jerry and was quite pleased with the payment swelling my bank account. But it had been an agonising, soul-searching week away.I felt bipolar, my mood swinging from pure unadulterated pleasure at the sexual side of Cassie's and my relationship, to deep depression and even shame for succumbing to her and betraying her mother, Mary, a wonderful woman I'd known for fifteen years.Work had helped take my mind off the problem, but it hung like low, heavy clouds over my head. The only solution I could come up with was to stop. Somehow I had to stop our sexual relationship and wait until she turned eighteen. And, as deeply depressing as that thought was, watching her practice, seeing her move so gracefully, my heart racing just from observing her, I knew, if she loved me, she'd wait. That only made it harder.After practice I took her to Wilket Creek Park to wander through the tended Edwards Gardens. Late afternoon temperature. As sheorgasmed she'd shriek whatever my supposed name that day, and she'drun her hands over and over my supposedly muscular chest. Though as time went on that required more and more imagination onher part. Because my chest was growing softer and softer. Yes,part of my 'training' was to allow birth control hormones to taketook hold and begin to alter my body. She got them from a friend,and also a big bottle of another kind, and she began to insistthat I take mine along with her, every morning. I asked her, "Why not just on Fridays?" She merely looked at me -- "It doesn't work that way," was all she said. So I took them -- it was one more woman thing for me to understand,and one more test of my commitment to her. My love was hers for life,so she didn't think I'd object to my body being equally committed forlife to her desires. I wasn't surprised when my thin male body, notunlike a girl's to begin with, eventually began to hint at a roundedwoman's body. Just like in the.
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