" The overarching infection mother suffers from is "Being a university lecturer in English." As those who suffer from these types of ailments will realise, they do not make for popularity when you're a teenager. I seemed unable to engage in activities popular among my peers, and even in sport I went in for long distance running which is hardly a team sport.If I could turn back the clock and return to those days there would be one reason and one only. I would like to try and heal the many wounds I must have given mother at that time with my petulant and insulting behaviour. Perhaps some of you have heard the old song, "You Always Hurt the One you Love;" a sloppy and sentimental piece, but with more than a grain of truth. I think I must have loved mother a great deal if the hurts I inflicted are the measure.Looking back now at those days from the vantage point of f******n years on, I can see how much mother had to endure, not only from me, but my father as well. Some said my father was. .. And ... today ... I’m going to have sex with a horse!” She stands for a moment, looking a little awkward, then we cut to –A wider shot of Louise sitting at a small bar table, with Petra sitting opposite sipping from a tall glass. She’s in full flow telling her story as we join them... “My husband, Davy, thinks he’s the funniest man in the world ... Always having a laugh, making jokes, being stupid ... He’s always making jokes and I’m usually the butt of ‘em ... The only time he doesn’t joke, is during sex ... And the sex is good, because, to be honest, he’s hung like a horse ... His mates are all the same as him, everything’s a joke ... And they all know he’s got a big cock, because they all shower together after rugby ... So, for his stag night they bought him one of those horse-head masks, and he’s running around the club wearing that mask – and nothing else – his big cock flapping around, and everyone is laughing ... He thinks he’s God’s gift to women, and to comedy! That night,.
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