She felt quite awkward atfirst, with people she didn't know, but when a guy persisted, if he was anice guy, she could just relax and go with it. Then, for all she was nevermuch of a girly girl, she was glad she wasn't a boy. She couldn't imaginebeing the one to make the moves, having to ask, facing rejection. All shehad to do was drag herself out to a bar and wait for some action. Therewas always a steady supply of smiling eyes, warm lips and strong arms.But sometimes she suffered strange anxieties. There were times when shefelt not quite identical to herself, as if there were two Amys, almost, butnot quite, exactly the same. She couldn't tell which was the real one.One time she was at a party. She was very drunk and a joint had beenpassed around. She felt really out of it, kind of drifting. Jakey had hisarms round her, stroking her breast and nuzzling her neck. Suddenly, shefelt a weird feeling of oppressive closeness. She felt hyper-aware ofeverything around her, as if. Hisfamily thinks of it as a simple, harmless hobby. I know it's more,it's a fetish. I've seen it in his eyes. When he see's his son laterthis morning, he won't be seeing his son Chris, he's going to see oneof the girls from the book. Literally. With the help of all my friends, we've been able to duplicate analmost exact match in every detail to the girl in one of his posters.Sissy never gets to dress as she will today. Sissy is sissy, she'snot Gwen, she hasn't earned the right to be like Gwen. I never everlet sissy think that she is a woman. Quite the opposite. I constantlyremind her how she is many evolutionary steps behind women. Sissy isa faggot, my faggot.Today is special and she knows it. She's been treating this occasionwith the reverence of a temple priestess. The reverence she has forall things female is something to behold. I know her dress has beenfreshly ironed and is hanging at the ready. Arlene dyed his hair thisbeautiful raven black color about two weeks ago. He's been.
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