I should know, I’ve been married three times!I know, I know, sometimes I am too romantic for my own good but I think I have finally cured myself of dreaming that futile and pathetic dream of the perfect marriage.The truth is, men become so mundane, so bloody boring once they’re married! The romance goes, the courtesy vanishes, not to mention the sex! It all evaporates once the honeymoon concludes. I thought I knew the reasons why my previous marriages failed and decided in the third marriage, that hubby and I would have separate residences, that we would preserve the mystery! Nothing makes me drier than the Gobi desert than to hear my man fart and belch in bed, or see his grotty underwear strewn around the room.Tidy habits vanish and once they’re married, they forget about making themselves presentable.Why is it men expect us to dress in sexy lingerie – usually bloody uncomfortable stuff – but they don’t even think to have a shower or even shave?Oh yes, rub your stubbly face over my. She then started breaking out the cooking pots and utensils to prepare their food later. By the time she had finished Billy had completed the fire pit. Then they both went out to collect wood for the fire.Finally done with their chores it was time to relax. Billy was the first to strip naked with Tara quickly following. They had a secret they shared but hid from others. They both enjoyed being totally nude and having been around each other for so many years were completely comfortable being nude in front of each other.Billy took off running towards the splash pool yelling over his shoulder, “The last one in does dishes!” The word dishes came out just as he hit the water at a full run. He splashed into the water only to come up yelling, “God damn that’s cold!”Tara had moved over to the water’s edge and looked down at Billy laughing and saying, “What the hell did you expect? This is fed by the melting snow and its only early May.”“Well bring your cute ass in here so we can warm it up.
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