He knew it was ridiculous, but he still couldn't help it. At least now he had the option of seeing her around, but when she moved away he wouldn't ever talk to her again. He wondered what it would be like next year, all the time wondering where she was and what she was doing. She wouldn't ever be thinking about Matt, except to remind herself of what a mistake he had been, he thought, if that. I'm just a mistake, he thought, his face crumpling as he began to cry. She'll always be my first and I'll just be a fucking mistake, he thought.A knock came on his door. Fuck, he thought, wiping his eyes on his pillowcase."What?" he asked.His mom came in. "Matt, th- what's the matter?" she asked, seeing his eyes red."Nothing!" he told her.She paused. "Well, someone's here to see you." Who is it?" he asked. Maybe it's Jen!"It's Lauren." Oh." Lauren? he thought disappointedly."Yeah, come down and see her." No. Tell her to come up here," he told her, nervous about his parents eavesdropping.His mom. "Yes. I'll go to Boston with you. What girl gets a chance to be impregnated in a Volkswagen camper van these days? We'll re-enact the sixties. It will be something to tell our grandchildren about when you really are a gramps." Okay," he said, clapping his hands. "I'm excited!" Get your coat," she said. "We're leaving." We are?" Very soon now, you will be blind," she said. She shamelessly pulled up her skirt and rubbed the gusset of her panties, making it clear she'd shown them to him intentionally.Bob closed his eyes and mimed using his hands to feel his way around."I'll manage. Do your worst." I love you so much," she said, softly. "Have I ever told you I love you?" A few dozen times," he said, grinning."Well, I meant it. Look around and use your vision now, because very soon now you will be flailing in the dark, blind, a husk of your former self, for I will have fucked you so limp I may even have to feed you for a while." Sounds like some kind of torture," said Bob. "Why am I so.
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