My ears began ringing and I felt as if the whole world was closing in on me. After a moment or two, he sighed again and said, "Well, I guess I had it coming to me." As he looked back at me, he continued, "Have I really not been there for you or is it something else?" "A little of both," I replied. Doug looked down for a few seconds and took a deep breath. "I'm sure I could be more attentive, but what else is involved here? What can she do for you that I can't?" he questioned. "Just different stuff," I answered, somewhat elusively. "Trust me, my friendship with Louise is no threat to our relationship. It just makes me feel young and alive," I reassured Doug. My husband contemplated the situation for a few moments then confided, "I suppose I could feel hurt and threatened, but to tell you the truth, I don't. I am in awe of your newfound friskiness and I'd certainly be a real hypocrite if I resented your happiness." He looked at me lovingly and said, "As long as it does. I wasjust a kid when I first realized that I was different. Yeah Iwasn't too good at sports and was the quiet type (shy?) andsmall too. Small and thin and not too confident. Maybe that'swhat pushed me to the way I am but I'm not sure.Hey I'm not complaining. Really. I'm usually an upbeat personand pretty happy with my life, but sometimes just talking aboutthis gets me over the Lexi funk. And, sweety, thanks forlistening.I told you earlier about my first guy, Chuck, and how he made mehis girl. God, I loved him and miss him still. Thank you Chuckfor showing me who I really was. A girl in a guy's body. Ithappens more often than you think. Anyway besides the sex Iloved the way he would hold me. No not after. Very few guys dothat. I mean how he would hold me during it, the sex I mean,just making me feel like a real woman. The fact that he had medo all his friends, well, I forgive you Chuck. I really do. Ifyou want to read about that check the first story I posted 'K?I was one of the lucky.
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