You carried me into the house and sat me down on the couch. ‘It would work, and we would fall in love and be very happy. I just don’t know if I am ready for that. I’m scared.’ There was a look in your eyes that I knew could be nothing more or less than vulnerability. I told you there was nothing to be scared of that we couldn’t handle. I rested my head on your shoulder and asked you to just stay with me today. ‘Please just spend the day with me today. We can go home and tonight and sleep on it, alone. In the morning we can meet for breakfast and decide what we are going to do.’ I begged. You agreed and we sat in silence, just holding each other for hours. Every once in a while we would kiss or speak a bit, but it was mostly silent. I asked you to make love to me, for what could be the last time. You looked at me, almost looking hurt, and grabbed my face. You kissed me hard and pushed me onto my back. There was no foreplay or romance this time. We ripped our own clothes off and. I replied that I just liked looking at art and other objects of beauty. She blushed a bit, and gave me a hint of a smile, and thanked me.I think I almost had her then. We started talking about how her and Jesse had met, and how she liked him. But things went all wrong when I "accidentally" let slip some rather embarrassing information about Jesse's past. She giggled at some, and seemed interested in me. Or at least in what I was saying. I told her that he'd only had like three girlfriends before her, serious girlfriends anyway, and how he said he'd had sex with two of them but that I thought he might be lying, and that it was only one. Or perhaps none. Sure he was a nice guy-- that's why I was friends with him. I just hoped she was getting the loving she deserved out of the relationship, since he was kind of ... inexperienced.That didn't go over so well, and she looked displeased-- which broke my heart. As she excused herself to go send an email in Jesse's room, I mentally punched.
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