I was a 'miraculous' birth - couldn't wait to get out. Rushing to embrace the world. Then finding that the world wasn't quite so crazy about meeting me. When I told her I am gay she said, 'you were always different from the moment you were born'. I was a sissy from the beginning. I wanted dolls. Tiny china tea services. As I grew older, I played only with girls, loved only girly games, spent all my time with girls. The bullying started when I was about eight. The name calling, the thumps and blows. I endured a few years of that, simply not understanding why it was happening. Despite this, I went on playing with the girls. Hopskotch, wall flowers (a singing game with very girly dance movements). But the bullying increased in intensity and I saw the only way out as trying to conform to male gender conditioning. At grammar school, with no girls to play with, I decided to butch up. The bullying stopped. I played rugby and hated it but saw it as a way of conforming. At 12 I began to. ” When he came back moments later with a double-bourbon on the rocks, she tossed it back in a single gulp. She took his hand, leading him into the mass of bumping, grinding, sweaty bodies that blocked the dance floor. Several songs later, she sent him for another drink. An hour later, he was at the edge of the party deck at the rear of the frat house, struggling to behave in an appropriate way, not quite certain what was appropriate at that moment.He asked if she wanted a hit, she nodded & they stepped outside in the night air. When he lit the thin joint of primo hydroponic weed, she inhaled almost half in her first puff. He smoked it to the roach after it passed between them a few times each, when she asked if he’d like to do a little coke. Never having done it before, but in such awe of this sensual beauty, Ed said he’d love to. They walked around front where cars, trucks and motorcycles of every size, quality and description were parked. His eyes devoured her as he watched her.
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