”“Okay?” I was almost shouting, “Okay, how can it all be okay?” “I have spoken to Lee and Claire already.” Louise, was so calm in her words and demeanor. “Once, the baby is born, Claire is adopting it. We have sorted it out and it has all been through the solicitors. Lee thinks it is his. I told him that after he had got back from town after the opening event, I had made him fuck me. He can’t remember if he did or not. Make me a drink, please.” I went over to the small kitchen area in the office, while she proceeded to tell me of how she had found out. “I knew something was wrong after a few weeks, but I said nothing, then I missed my period again and that is not like me. I went to the Doctors, and she told me to do the test then and there. I did and I was right I was pregnant. I took the rest of the day and went to see Claire. That was when we came up the plan. After all my operations they told me I could not get pregnant again. Claire has always wanted a baby but she has not had any. The importance of roles can change slowly over the course of time. Meaningful roles can become displaced by more mundane roles. When did vacuuming the carpet become more important than fucking on the floor? When did being a good employee, and working overtime for a minuscule raise become more important than supporting the child at the baseball game? When did doing this thing become more important than doing that thing?It’s only after the consequences of having relegated those meaningful roles to the background are reaped, that it becomes obvious that one has screwed up their life. The child runs away from home, the spouse has an affair, and the house becomes a dry sterile environment that kills the spirit. Loneliness becomes the watchword of the day. Men and women, in the throes of depression, cry to heaven, “Oh Lord, let me be loved.”Infant, toddler, child, youth, adolescent, adult, and elder. Looking back to previous stages of our physical growth, we think of how much better things.
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