“How much is it?”“$1.00 a roll” the clerk replies.“That seems pretty expensive” responds the Indian. “What about the others?”“Charmin is $2.00 a roll and no name is 50 cents a roll.”The Indian doesn’t have much money so he opts for the no name.Within a few hours he is back at the trading post. “I have a name for the no name toilet paper” he announces to the clerk. “We shall call it John Wayne.”“Why?” asks the confused clerk.“Cause it’s rough and it’s tough and it don’t take no crap off an Indian.”A Zebra dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates. As he enters, he asks St. Peter “I have a question that’s haunted me all of my days on earth. Am I white with black stripes, or am I black with white stripes?”St. Peter said “That’s a question only God can answer.”So the zebra went off in search of God. When he found Him, the zebra asked “God, please - I must know ... am I white with black stripes, or am I black with white stripes?”God simply replied “You are what you are.”The zebra returned to. Of course, that didn’t sit too well with most of the troops who had been facing the risk of death each day from Confederate snipers and the danger of getting cut in half by the rebel artillery. I knew a lot of them boys would just as soon cut their throats and leave them for the burial detail to clean up. I can’t claim to not have the same thoughts as well but I did my best to curtail them and act like a gentleman much against the demands of my nagging dark side.There were rumors of a renegade Negro armed force that was terrorizing the countryside in southern Virginia. They were burning perfectly good barns and even raping the Confederate white women no matter how young or how old they might be. The whole concept of raping the enemy women was not condoned on either side, but there were some units that seemed to use it as a weapon to coerce the civilian populace to “donate” food and supplies without even being asked. I do know that General Sherman was firm on this atrocity and held.
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