By Wednesday morning I thought for sure he would come for me. When evening finally came and he hadn't shown up, I started thinking about getting dressed up and going out and finding someone to rape me. Yes, I know that is sick. I wouldn't have done it. I just thought about it, fantasized about it.On Thursday I had just about decided he wasn't coming back anymore. I got dressed up and I was just getting ready to go for a walk around the mall when my door opened suddenly and he was standing there, my rapist.I'm not sure I can adequately explain my reaction when I turned and saw him standing there. I'm not sure that I fully understand them myself. It was a strange combination of fear and excitement, probably in equal parts.He shut the door and came over and looked me over. He squeezed my breast. I think he was just checking to see if I was wearing a bra. I was. I had put it on since I was going out.I expected him to start undressing me immediately, or to get comfortable and order me to. My voice was cracking a little when I toldher I would call her that evening.It was now 8:00pm and I called her house. She answeredthe phone on the first ring. She asked me who shouldtalk first. I told her I better because she might notlike what I was going to say.“Okay,” she said, “Go ahead, Jake.”“First of all I missed you when you left. No one knewwho you were and I was frantic trying to find you. Iwant you to know that the love we made was for real. Ihave never felt that close emotionally to any womanbefore. I’m torn up inside knowing I will never haveyou again. You see, I think I was falling in love with you. Ifyour boyfriend was anyone else other than David I wouldwalk through Hell to get to you. I can’t hurt mybrother. I love him too much. I will leave the two ofyou alone to see what the future holds. I wish both ofyou the best in the future. You will always have aspecial place in my heart.”“Jake, please don’t hate me..
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