Some looked like they were straight off the mean streets, in their soiled, creased and ill fitting clothing, others were dressed in manual workfare of jeans and safety shoes and there were a few half-decent guys, who would not look out of place in a line up for Tim Hortons. There were a few dour looking females, and the odd black and Aboriginal face in the mix. At least I was not the sole visible minority in this line up of misery. Homeless shelters. I never in my life thought I would end up in one of them. I read that they were dangerous, violent, dirty, invaded by bed bugs and polluted with the lowest of the low. I read that many homeless people would rather take their chances on the street than stay in a homeless shelter. That the staff treated you like cattle, pushing and prodding you to move that way, go this way, take that bed, take these blankets, take your possessions elsewhere, take our advice, take our shit and be grateful. The reality, not so bad, not so good. Maybe I got. After years of being beaten with words, guilt and suffocated by control, he lost that worth. It danced in the distance never getting closer but yet never going further away. A word that filled his eyes with desire. With a passion to live. A reason to love. God gave him a reason. A reason to be a better man. There was now a sense of purpose and a realization that there is truly good in the world. Chris continued to pray words to his friend. ‘Lord? I have fallen the steps of life over and over. Struggled to climb them to be a better person in your grace. But I know I am not perfect by all means. Hear I sit with you, but yet I still feel alone. I seek that which will make me whole and I pray that you guide me to that point in my life where I can finally be whole. With a companion who is on the same path as well. I am afraid for my future of being a single father. No one wants a single divorced man who has a child. That is what I feel lord. I feel that sense of physical loneliness as.
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