I know that now.All I knew then was that there was ... something ... incomplete ... about the way I was living.And behaving.My parents would never have understood. Or even recognized me. During that time.Sex. And drugs. And rock and roll. There was fighting in the street. I was a street-fightin' man. I was living a songwriter's dream.Marching and getting maced and looking at Hell's Angels dressed up as "security" and crying for the fallen here at home and cursing the fallen across the sea in another world and then going back to our little places to drink and eat and smoke and lose ourselves in sweat and saliva and secretions.Am I remembering?I think so.Nothing succeeds like excess. And I excelled at excess.A dozen or so of us in a small 2-bedroom apartment, a few in the kitchen fixing dinner for all of us, the rest in the main room, no lights on, candles everywhere. Groups of two or three on the couch, on the floor, in front of the dark television. On the closet floor.The music loud,. “I get a lot of artists coming in here, some I’ve known for years. Several have expressed an interest in using you for a model.” He mentioned the name of one who was actually in a couple of museums. An artist’s model? That had always seemed so romantic to me. The famous artist and his muse, featured in all his best paintings. The smart thing, though, would be to quit modeling altogether before my family found out. “I don’t know,” I said. “What I had in mind,” said Matt, “was a Saturday workshop, here in the back of the store. I’ve got plenty of easels and all the art supplies on hand. I’ve had classes in here before.” “I don’t think so,” I said, although in theory I loved the idea. “Your cut would be $120 a week. Plus I’m reasonably certain some of them will want you privately, which would pay more.” I’d be rich. I could buy all the art supplies I wanted and go to every good concert that came to town. I could even buy a car. “Well…” “How about we start next Saturday, say noon to.
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