She said the only regret she made back then was not actually going all the way with me, and make love.I said yeah, I know, I wanted too, so bad. She said you goof, then you should have made that known to me, because I really wanted too, but thought you didn’t. I said oh well, we cant turn back the clock now. She laughed and said, well that would have been incest for sure. I laughed and said, I think what we did, was incest, but, you know what they say, incest is best. She laughed, then changed the subject.She asked why I never remarried again and I told her, I didn’t want to relive the marriage scene again, it left a very bad taste in my mouth. Sharon laughed and said, that was because the botch never douched. I had to laugh at that. She asked if Karen, my ex, was any good in bed, and I said no. She hated oral done to her and would never perform on me and wanted sex over as soon as possible. Sharon said, no fucking way. I said, yeah. I thought it would get better once we married, but. It just turns them on that much more for when they finally fuck you."She started crying loudly again. She buried her face in her hands and through her tears she kept repeating, "We all do," like a tantric chant.I wanted to yell at her to shut up. But she seemed more fragile than I was at the moment. Of course, she had been through this already. She knew what it was going to be like out there tomorrow. She had spent six weeks in this rustic little camp being raped repeatedly. And she had been so intimidated, so broken, that she had allowed them to order her to come back for six more weeks of rape and humiliation!Joni finally got up and went to her own bed. I dropped my towel. It didn't cover much anyway. I slid under the covers. Joni turned the light off and for most of what little remained of the night I stared into the dark and tried to remember what had happened to me tonight.I hated the idea that I had been raped. But for some reason, the idea that there were so many traumatic.
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