The hottest little blond Bill had ever met. Sure, she was the kind of woman you took home to meet the parents and strolled down the aisle with but she was for shit in the fucking department, or so Fred had told him and anyone else who would listen. Bill didn’t need any of that shit. So now you’re married and you can get it any time you want but it’s…well…not for shit? Bill knew he’d love to tap that little piece of tail…maybe teach her a few things. Bill also knew a wife would never be in his future. He’d heard too many stories about guys who married some sweet young thing assuming the sex would get better after they were married and then… No, he’d learned one thing and that was a bitch does her best fucking when she’s trying to get the ring, not afterwards. It wouldn’t have been the first time he’d seduced one of the young wives in his office. He’d tapped most of them, at least the ones that were worth his trouble. He had a way with woman… he’d never met one whose pants he couldn’t. I was sat in a restaurant and got hit on the back of the head by a prawn cocktail. I looked round and this bloke shouts “That’s just for starters!”A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says “Sorry, you know the law, you’ve got to go back across the border right now”. The Mexican man pleads with them “No, noooo Senor, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!” The Border Patrol Agent thinks to himself, I’m going to make it hard for him and says “Ok, I’ll let you stay if you can use three English words in a sentence. The three words are ‘green,’ ‘pink,’ and ‘yellow.’” The Mexican man thinks, then says “Hmmm, okay. The phone, it went green, green, green. I pink it up and sez yellow?”I walked in on my daughter masturbating this morning. She is still too young to understand what I was doing, though.One day Nick’s wife asked him “What will he do if she were to die”. Nick replied “I’ll also die”. She asked him “Why?” Nick.
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