” he said. She could see a blush creeping up his neck. She smiled at him and took the opportunity to touch him again, running her hand up his forearm. “That would be great. Maybe I could teach you something too.”He had been glancing down at her chest and the blush reached his face like a 12 year old boy. He cleared his throat and mumbled out, “Um..yeah. I mean sure. Sorry my words don’t always come out right.”He quickly turned around to rummage in boxes looking for her flash drive. She stepped up behind him so that she was invading his personal space, without touching him. Gently laying a hand on his shoulder she leaned in and dropped her voice, “Can I help?”His eyes darted to her hand and back at her chest, inches away from him. He tried to say something, but it didn’t come out. He tried again, “Um can I ask you something?”She nodded, but didn’t move her hand.“Do you have a boyfriend or something?” She laughed a little and shook her head. She definitely wasn’t going to answer that.. She was pretty Liz. She was a woman with dreams and hopes. And then it was gone. And she was composed. And back."See how easy that was Ray. You asked a question and I answered. Now I ask the question. You answer." I don't know how to say 'I don't know' without being mad at myself," Ray ground out."You don't know what you are planning to do?" Liz asked"No I don't." That's fair. This is not a decision to make lightly. Tell me what you are thinking and feeling as you ponder this." Everything is at war. I want her; I hate myself for wanting her. I think about her. I hate myself for thinking about her. I hide from her. I hate myself for hiding from her. Do you see a pattern?" Ray joked sarcastically."It sounds like you still have these strong unresolved feelings for your wife. And are guilty over them." She cheated on me." You suspected that she was." Thinking and knowing are two different things. You may think there is a hell. I know there is one. That makes our feelings and motivations.
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