Is it sexy and erotic and suitable for a nice interlude of grappling with your intimate bits and bobs in a public toilet? Not a chance. It's as dull as some especially brackish ditchwater trapped within the world's least interesting ditch. Yes, indeed. Now, I don't know about you, but when I'm faced with a soul-destroying and tedious bit of prose I like to spice it up with a few choice additions. Below, for you to cut out and keep, are ten super duper phrases guaranteed to enliven any mind-numbing piece of shit that you've been forced to read. Why not give them a go with the tiresomely vapid letter. "Soapy tit fuck", "nectar glistening cunt lips", "cum splattered flesh", "tongue lashed clit", "throbbing man meat", "plaintive, desperate whimpers", "rampant, pistoning cock", "twinkling anal starfish", "tight, pulsing ball sacs", "cum drenched thighs". There you are; and if you find yourself nodding off, just drop your chosen phrase into the letter and you'll be fine for another. It would be kind of strange going out on a realdate so I wasn't that sure. I guess I would just have to wait and see.But I knew it was something I would have to face soon since a lot of mygirlfriends were dating more and more boys. And I had to admit that mydates and experiences with Jason were preparing me for any futureencounters that I would face. I could tell Mom really relished thethought of me going on a real date with someone new."Well I'm sure you will do fine on any future dates, Danielle. You're avery pretty young lady, plus you're fun and smart. Believe me, a lot ofboys will be asking you out very soon. But don't worry. I'll help youprepare for that when it happens. I was pretty popular with the boyswhen I was a teenager."Laughing at my mom's comments, I struck a sexy pose. "Yes, I'm thetotal package, too. Just like you were, right, mom?"The only fly in the ointment was my brother's constant teasing andpestering ways. I think she was afraid that if he were allowed.
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