I arrived at her house freshly shaven and go in. She tells me that she is excited about this whole endeavor and can't wait to see how I turn out. (Me, I can't believe this part.) She starts with a foundation and goes on to use more products than I can even remember their names. She tells me to not look in the mirror yet and goes to the other room. It took all of my will-power to not peek, but I didn't. She returns with a dark wig that she explains she wears when she wants to go out to a bar and not give a damn about how people treat her. (She's a red-head and finds that the wig gives her an alternate persona.) Two dangling clip-on earrings and I get to look. Upon seeing my reflection, I made the closest approximation to a squeal that my throat would allow. The noise was not planned, it's just that I was so excited that I squealed!We went into the other room to try out what clothes would fit and flatter. (This is where I need a reality check: I'm fully made up and about to try on. I know you weren't expecting this, but it's a proven medical fact that it can get things going. It's better than a chemical or d**g induced labor, which can have lots of side effects. You wanted to do things natural, right? So, our suggestion is: let your own body help get the baby out naturally, okay?" Tanya had no idea what Eva was talking about. Natural? Induce? What was this all about? "Eva, I'm confused. What's going on?"Eva looked at her with an expression of utmost sympathy and compassion. "Tanya, dear, Doctor has ordered a medical orgasm for you. He called me yesterday and said he was going to order it. It's for the best. I'm here to administer it to you. Don't be ashamed, I do it all the time for special cases of labor that won't start. It's not sexual, it's a medical procedure. This is part of my medical job, as a nurse."Tanya could not believe her ears! Nine months pregnant, huge, lying on an exam table on her side, and a nurse was going to do... WHAT? Being pregnant was.
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