“That’s where God was,” Paul said leaning back against his stump. “He was making you into a good, decent human being and I’d say he did a pretty good job.”“Amen,” a couple of the men mumbled.But I didn’t agree.I certainly didn’t feel like a good man and this little speech hadn’t convinced me otherwise. There was nothing about my life that another should envy, especially not a pastor. I don’t have a heart of gold like Benny, nor nerves of steel like Jimmy and I don’t perform good acts unless they benefit my own situation. I only saved Paul because it was my job and only treat the men charitably hoping they’d work hard for me in return.It wasn’t out of kindness but rather for an ease of existence.This man had some fucking nerve to call me a good man? And to claim it’s all part of God’s plan ... well that’s a hard pill to swallow.I still didn’t know what to do or how to respond, not sure if anyone did. For each of us avoided eye contact and stared mindlessly at the flames, like a bunch. I was always engaged when I chatted and engaged in cyber sex. Even more so when I would video or voice call. I contemplated the message for a few seconds, fingers tapping against my laptop.“You got me curious. Sure I’d like more details.” I quickly tapped out and sent to this strange messenger.The response came within minutes.“I understand you have no qualms about video calling, as long as you have established a relationship of trust. Would you be interested in a face to face session? The highest assurances would be provided that you can still remain anonymous, and you would also be compensated monetarily for expenses and for enjoyment.”As I read the message I realized that this man still hadn’t told me the exact sexual aspect yet. And it sounded like I would be paid?“I think I need more info before agreeing to a f2f. What is the sex part of this? And what exactly are you offering to pay me for? I’m not a call girl fyi.”Now the response came in seconds.“You would be invited to a.
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