I lived in a small town in the North of England. There wasn't much goingon there at all, it was pretty dead as a place really, and there wereonly a few shops to speak of. Fortunately however, there were two largertowns about 10 miles either side of mine. A short bus journey's ride toeither.I should mention here that I'm somewhere on the TG spectrum. I don't knowexactly where, as things change within me. Sometimes I think I'm just aCD, other times I feel it's more serious. I'm not fussed, why put a labelon it?I also should mention this happened when I was 20, and before I was'online', with all the access to purchasing 'things' that that offers.These were the days when one actually had to go to actual shops! Imaginethat!I had a previous shopping experience on another occasion in one of thelarger towns. There was a small independent womanswear shop in this town.I had built up the courage to go in and look for something to purchasefor myself. I was however, so embarrassed it was. We had promised that of the other, as we became close those years ago, friends even.“I am married ... to your father!”Another nod, my eyes looking at her though my chin was tucked nearly to my chest. We both knew that their relationship was only one of convenience now. She had leaned on our friendship to explain the cold marriage she now shared with my father, the loneliness.“And its a sin ... illegal as well ... and it would ruin all our lives!”Was she talking to me or to herself? “I love and desire you mother.”“Stop saying that!” She hissed, her face looking furious, her voice sounded threatening.Mother was never a beauty - there was nothing about her that would attract male admirers if they had not taken the time to get to know her. She was a gentle polite caring woman - small of stature, perhaps once cute of face. And though our time together, talking privately, I knew she wasn’t happy with her daughters who she argued all too frequently with and her husband, who I would guess.
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