The vacant house next door went for a song. The owner was desperate that they couldn't rent the place and offered us a 'buy it now' for about a quarter of the former appraised value. Teresa quickly agreed to a slightly higher percentage amount (30%), as she wanted the cash quick. She was off to visit her old friend in New York, supposedly just for a brief visit and then she was going to return to Austin, but we never saw her again. Arlene demanded (and received) a sum that was about sixty percent of the county appraisal (probably full current market value). She might be a little crazy, but when it came to money the wily old senior was no fool! Lastly, the Thomas's played even more hardball demanding full appraisal value, plus an additional fifty grand for unspecified improvements. They had us over a barrel and we both knew it, so we paid up with a smile to be rid of them. This was money probably better spent on other things, but this last purchase cleared the entire western side of. . with Sam?" She just nodded. Then she did cry, wetly apologizing between sniffles. Her shoulders slumped and she sobbed. I grabbed a handful of tissues and hurried to take her into a loving embrace. She dabbed at her eyes and honked her nose into the tissues — producing a sound not unlike a Canada goose — which made us both laugh and lessened the tension."Honey," I began, "I don't think... I mean I don't feel that... whatever you did with Sam could be considered 'being unfaithful'. That's my opinion, anyway. I don't mind when you masturbate." She blushed. She's always embarrassed if I know she's masturbating because she's very loud when she climaxes. "As far as I'm concerned, you having sex with Sam is a form of masturbation. I guess it's programmed into men that the only real threat should be another penis — if even that should be threatening."I waited until she had absorbed what I said and collected herself. One last honk and she tossed the soggy tissues into the wastebasket. "I'd.
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