You would think I would learn but I didn't. When a young lady suggested love making, my brain stopped working and other glands took control. This time it happened at a tavern in New Brunswick. I had been in town almost a week, dressed as a farm laborer and spending most of my time and some of General Washington's brass in trying to find out what the British were planning. I had not shaved for a while and probably had not bathed for a month, but when this pretty little bar maid suggested that she would like to see me after closing, I did not hesitate for a minute to think why such a dainty thing would take any interest in a smelly hulk like me.I walked into her room, randy and eager, tall and stupid. She sat on her bed, wearing just her shift and a smile. I closed the door, and someone hit me in the back of the head with something awfully hard, perhaps a bludgeon of some sort. I fell to my knees and he hit me again.When I awoke with the taste of iron in my mouth, they had dumped out. I am going to sell you these rings at my purchase cost without any overhead markup. These prices may surprise you and I will personally give each of you a spanking if you let it be known outside this room what that cost will be. Is that okay with the two of you?"We both giggled at the thought of Patricia's father spanking us and as we looked at each other we both said in unison, "Yes daddy."John went to the safe and brought out a small package. We were seated across from him and holding hands as he unwrapped the layers of black velvet. Inside were two earrings that each had an enormous matching stone among a cluster of smaller stones."My European buyer purchased these for $6,000. Those two diamonds are Marquise cut which when mounted will give your fingers an elongated look. They are the most perfect I have ever laid eyes on. They are 1.6-karat stones. Taking into account the other stones in the earrings I am offering them to you two for $2,400 each. I have had them appraised at.
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