Amid the usual clutter of advertising material, I viewed a black rectangle. It was wedged between the seat leg and the train’s side. I made my way to the curious object, unwedging it from its niche. The black was cured leather, and sliding this off revealed a book bound in coarse red paper, and bearing a black inlaid symbol, a circle made up of interconnected swans. The revelation of this familiar object swathed me in memories long buried. I was consumed with the emotions of these memories, and I relived the elements of my life that were connected to this book. This process only ended when the train reached the end of the line, my station departing the train I was filled with a sense of determination. I knew what I had to do. Entering my home, my wife and I exchanged our patent greetings. She was reclined on the sofa watching television. I sat on the floor in front of her, crossing my legs into the full lotus pose. This was extremely painful, but the pain was familiar. Turning off. Ignorant prick is standing side on to me, youth is to my left but has his back to me, reader is behind me, and tourist is to my right. No-one is making eye contact. Nothing unusual there. Everyone just wants to get home. Including me.The train doors close and the carriage begins to move. As I’m facing towards the back of the train I fall forwards towards Prick. It takes me by surprise and I raise my hand up to steady myself, placing my hand in his stomach by accident.“Oh, I’m so sorry” I say but he doesn’t even flinch. What a prick.The journey continues a little longer and there is another sudden lurch from the carriage and I fall forwards again, this time my head touches his shoulder and my hand again steadying myself on his tummy. As my nose is pressed against him I catch a smell of him and the deodorant suddenly takes me back to my first boyfriend, Steve. Funny how a smell can just transport you somewhere and open up memories that you’d all but forgotten. Steve was my first and I.
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