She had been the one whodrove him to kill himself... "It's my fault," she whispered, the tears pouring down hercheeks. However, as horrible as it was, Jeff's death was not a surpriseto Clarissa. She had known it since she had felt that moment of dreadand darkness a short while earlier she had known that Jeff was dead,even though she tried not to believe it...to hold onto some slim hope. Clarissa cringed with the guilt, knowing that Jeff would stillbe alive and well if it hadn't been for her... She had been so intenton punishing him that she hadn't even verified that he truly was theone who needed to be punished. She has tortured him... humiliatedhim... broken him. She had completely and utterly destroyed him, eventaking away his very body and life. And now he was dead as a directresult of her actions. But there was more... Now there was absolutely no way thatClarissa could repair the damage that she had done to Jeff's life...It would have been impossible before, and now it was just. Inside, part of mestill thought of myself as a man, a man in a beautiful young woman'sbody, but, a man, nonetheless. Another part of me felt flushed and happyat what she had said.I walked to the bed and picked up my dress. At first, I couldn't figurehow to put it on, then Barbara came to my rescue. "It's a wrap dress.Put it on as if it were a robe." I did as she said and started to wrapthe front of dress around me. "No. Not that way. Only men lap the leftover the right. You're a girl now. Lap the right over the left and pullthe sash through the little hole and wrap it around your waist and tie abig bow knot in it." When I had done as she instructed, she exclaimed,"That looks so sexy! You'll give every man that sees you a hard on! Golook in the mirror."Taking short steps because of the three inch high heel shoes, I walkedto the full length mirror. Wow! Pink was my color. Then, I remembered,Carol was wearing pink when we first met. The dress was made of a lightweight pink silk like.
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