”“You have your own life, but you want mine.” And he wanted Valerie’s but she wouldn’t say that then.“My life was empty from the time I killed Laura to the time I met you.”“And that’s precisely what I mean by greed,” she said. “Your wife had her own life and her own death. Then you make that death all about you. It’s not about you. Oh, you lost something precious, as did Valerie, as probably did lots of people I haven’t met. But you didn’t kill her. You have a life that was more than many people have. You have a daughter to raise and a company to run.”“And you’re afraid that I might try to run you, too.”“‘Might’ isn’t the word I would use to describe it. ‘Afraid’ isn’t either.”“Well,” he said, “you’re sounding damned afraid.”“Yeah, but I’d say that I’m certain that you would try to run it. And you’re so determined. When you try to run it, you would run it.”“When you draw a line, I try to respect it. Couldn’t we do that?”“I don’t have the energy to protect my boundaries all the time,”. I really wanted to hide away, to hide my lips, to hidemy breasts, but I didn't even have a jacket to put on, and my thinwhite blouse was tightly stretched across my chest. I spotted Matthewcoming down the path and waved over to get his attention. He spotted meand came down and sat by my table. "Is your arm OK?" I asked as he satdown. "Yes, it's fine, it's only a scratch," he replied holding his armup to show me. I thanked him for catching me and he laughed and said Iwas quite a catch. I laughed at his lame joke, and we chatted easilyabout nothing for a few minutes.Matthew ordered us both coffees and I asked if he minded if i smoked,which he thankfully didn't. Over the next ten or fifteen minutesMatthew chatted a lot, making me laugh out loud on a few occasions withhis silly jokes and witty observations. I don't think I had laughedthis much since the swap, and I had to admit I was enjoying Matthewscompany."Are you married, Janice?" asked Matthew. I glanced at my hands which Ihad.
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