My mind blanked out every other aspect, every other possible problem, every other realistic event. I lived totally in the moment. And then it ended. Like the click of a locked door on a jail cell. To say I was devastated sounds so trite. I couldn’t stomach food for three weeks. I couldn’t stand to be in the kitchen cooking dinner for my family. My stomach kept heaving. I picked at pathetic morsels I’d put on my plate so my family wouldn’t notice. I lost weight rapidly, my cheeks became gaunt and my hair and skin looked lifeless. I went for my nightly walks, taking the dog with me. I sat on the bank’s edge by the creek and bawled my eyes out. My family needed me, but I couldn’t give them anything of myself. I had nothing to give. Why me? Why the hell me? Why let me fall in love so deeply, only to take it away from me? I couldn’t come to terms with the loss at all. At any point in any day, I would burst into tears. The loss of control I felt when these tears smothered me, scared me to. “We’re going to The Turk later. It’s a little bar a few blocks from here. You’re welcome to join!” Jamie shouted.“Okay!” Robbie answered.“Around 8!” Jamie yelled.“We’ll meet you there!” Robbie shouted.We had gotten the majority of the furniture in when Renee called. She asked me if I would meet her that night. I told her I was going for a beer with Robbie, but could call her afterward. She asked me if I would blow him off. She said she would make it worth my while. I confessed that we were meeting my new neighbors we had just met. Then Renee asked me their names and I told her. As soon as she learned that they were both female, she got quiet. Jealousy?.. This was new, but I thought, maybe I could use it to my advantage. I told her that I would call her after.Robbie and I arrived promptly at 8 and saw Jamie, Amanda, and a third fairly masculine woman sitting at a high table. We joined them and all shook hands. Jamie introduced the new addition as her girlfriend Jessica. I had already.
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