.. You bastard! You didn’t tell me that the hole between Doreen’s legs is a Pencil Sharpener...”These are compliments of Smokey JoeRastus and Liza where were making love on railway tracks. The driver of an oncoming train sounded his horn and applied the brakes and the train stopped bare inches from the couple. When asked why they hadn’t moved, Rastus replied, “Well, the train was comin’, and Liza was comin’, and I was comin’ ... and the train was the only one with brakes.”The huge college freshman decided to try out for the football team. “Can you tackle?” asked the coach. “Watch this,” said the freshman, who proceeded to run smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters. “Wow,” said the coach. “I’m impressed. Can you run?” “Of course I can run,” said the freshman. He was off like a shot, and, in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred yard dash. “Great!” enthused the coach. “But can you pass a football?” The freshman hesitated for a few seconds. “Well, sir,” he said,. " You should tell Byron not Percy. He revolves around Lord Byron, not the other way about." If Byron had been here I would have. Shelley shall be my messenger, and will tell Byron what I threatened if Becky comes to any harm." What did you tell him?"I whispered the threat I had made to Shelley in her ear, and she blanched in shock, and then gave a howl of laughter. "Jack Greenaway, you are no better than a Turk ... but Lord Byron will surely get the message."She kept a doleful silence on the journey back to her now empty house. We pulled up outside the house, and I had a sudden brainwave."I am invited to Ashford House in a weeks' time, together with Matilde and her companion Violette. I suggest you come in place of Violette, whom I will give time off to visit her family. It will take your mind off Becky to accompany Matilde and me to Kent, and I will ask Krish Armityge to join us. What do you say?"She smiled gratefully. "I will be honoured to accept. I shall welcome some company with.
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