Nothing, of course, is perfect. I’d come home from a long ten days in Singapore. I’d arrived at Heathrow on the Sunday morning, a day earlier than anticipated, at about 7 and taken a bus, train and taxi to get to the home we shared. Sunday mornings in our household followed a strict routine. When we were both awake or when one of us woke the other with a little ‘hello pussy’ we would finish off that particular delight and then one of us would get tea, toast, papers and we’d sit in bed. Often enough there’d be a bit more of the mouth to mouth before we’d take ourselves to the shower and, clean and dressed, take a leisurely stroll to the little café run by Mrs Stripiss. She, an expatriate Greek, owned possibly the best café in town and served amazing Sunday lunches for a price that beggared belief. I had arrived home about 10 and opened the door quietly, placed my suitcase and briefcase carefully in the hall and removed my shoes so I could creep up the stairs. I heard the sounds of sex. I see that no one saw to include you, so I chose to do so myself.”Ok. I’m not that sorry. Did the older people even hear the last part of what I said? They look shocked that I can speak their language. Oh. Wait. Everyone else seems surprised too.After the noise in the room quieted down, the girl’s mother said, “Darren, it is highly irregular for a male outside of the family to have intimate discussions of this nature with a girl or woman not betrothed to you. I know such is also a taboo subject among other males, even those curious about how they measure up to their siblings and friends.”“I’ve never been in the presence of one who could have a penis seventeen centimeters in length. If Darren is willing, please request that he allow us all to see such a marvel of nature,” the grandmother said to the mother in some other language only the mother seemed to understand.In that same language, I replied, “I would like to add, privately between the three of us, that I have visited many.
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